Week Six A Fresh Look at Relationships and Sexuality

Input

God made mankind in of his own image (Genesis 1:26). Spiritually both men and women are like God, but physically we are created differently. Through marriage, a man and woman are joined together and become one. (Genesis 2: 24) But this unity is not just physical, but also emotional and spiritual. The bond of unity between a man and a woman is the deepest, most vulnerable, and most intimate a human being can experience. God designs marriage for us to enjoy the fullest degree of love, intimacy, and pleasure, and ultimately the fullness of God. This is why marriage is sacred before God.

Sadly we blew it. Anything we do outside of God’s design for marriage causes us to miss out on the perfect plan God has for us. We live in a fallen world where men and women often choose to do whatever they please to satisfy themselves, and in the process hurt others. Both the offenders and the victims become trapped by the consequences of these sins. Here are some examples of sex-related experiences that may have impacted our identity and our relationship with God:

We live in or have lived in an abusive dating/marriage/partner relationship
We commit adultery – dating men/women who are married or sleeping with men/women who are not our marriage partner or engaging in prostitution
We practice casual dating and one-night stand
We use sex to gain favor or to manipulate others
We have been sexually abused – as a child or as an adult when we receive unwanted sexual advances
We regularly engage and indulge in pornography, masturbation, and lustful thoughts
We are in a relationship that is not healthy but we tolerate it because we don’t want to be alone, or we don’t believe God has better plans for us
We are not comfortable in our gender – we prefer to identify ourselves as the opposite sex
We don’t want to be married or commit to a long-term partnership because we have a fear of failure or because we have seen bad examples of marriage (spiritual heritage)
We make obscene gestures or coarse jokes about sex or the other gender, we speak negatively our put down people of the opposite sex
We dress or act in a way to use our bodies to lure someone to have a sexual relationship with us in order to feel loved or valued
We expect our marriage partner to have sex with us whenever we want, in exactly the way we want without considering their needs or feelings
And so on.

Negative sexual conduct or experiences can shape our identity and affect every area of our lives. They can cause us to feel unloved, shamed, worthless, isolated, lonely, hopeless, bitter, frustrated, and even become prone to anger or violence. What the world presents to us as fun, pleasurable, and egotistic ultimately turns to regrets and sorrow.

The good news is, we don’t have to stay that way. that Jesus came to free us and redeem us from the sins that keep us in captivity.

Luke 4:18-19 The spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. NIV

Isaiah 57: 15-18 For this is what the high and exalted One says – he who lives forever, whose name is holy: I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. I will not accuse them forever, nor will I always be angry, for they would faint away because of me – the very people I have created. I was enraged by their sinful greed, I punished them and hid my face in anger, yet they kept on in their willful ways. I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel’s mourners, creating praise on their lips. NIV

One common trait with sexual sins is secrecy. Many of us have dark secrets that no one knows. We hide in shame and fear from even our closest friends. But God already knows. He was there when you were sexually abused as a child, he heard it when your partner degraded you when you couldn’t keep up their expectations, and he saw you when you watched pornographic films in the middle of the night. God already knows and he still loves you. He is waiting for you to bring your secret out in the light, so he can heal you.

Psalm 139: -12 Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there: if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light becomes night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you, the night will shine like the day. For darkness is as light to you.

Isaiah 42:6-7 I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness, I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. NIV

Reflection

Which one of your sexual experiences or conducts would you like to be free from bondage? Tie or tape a piece of string or wool thread around one part of your body as a sign of such bondage.

On the foot; where I go to the opposite sex and use sex for pleasure or short-term gratification. (casual dating, one-night stand, prostitution)

On the hand: where I am in a dating relationship that is not godly, healthy or spiritual

On the mouth: where we make coarse jokes or speak negatively of the opposite sex

On the Eye: where we look at pornographic material or are lustful with our eyes

On the head: where I believe in the trend of the time or popular ideas rather than God’s teaching in the Bible.

On the stomach: Where the trauma of sexual abuse I experienced still defines my sexuality today

On the back: Where I have/had relationships with married men/women or have sex with men/women who are not my marriage partner

On the ankle: Where I use sex to gain favors or to manipulate others to get what I want

On the wrist:Where past toxic relationships is still holding me back – I may have resentment towards all people of the opposite sex

On the finger: decide for yourself what it means.